Bass Culture

Snowy thinks that I oughtta put some of my confusing punk novel up but it is upstairs in my room and I am too lazy to go get it. Instead I offer a brief study of the people concerned, song lyrics included.
As of today, the only song I can play on the guitar is "The Guns of Brixton" by Paul Simonon. To my dismay, I found I could only play it in A-minor (no barre chords-HURRAH!) which is the wrong key. But it is still a fantastic tune, written by the fantastic bass player of a fantastic band.
Bass players in the Punk movement weren't very concerned with actually learning their instruments. Sid Vicious's role on the Sex Pistols album was so minimal that he used to ride a bike around the studio roof. Passerby: "You'll die if you fall off!" Sid: "Oh, is that all?"
An exception to this rule was Paul Gustave Simonon, (1955- ), the artistically talented bassist for groundbreaking punk band The Clash. He didn't originally intend to be a bass player; in fact, while Joe and Mick went to art school to meet bands, Paul got in on a scholarship because his paintings were so good. He tried to learn guitar but opted for the simpler, four-stringed bass instead. He didn't start composing his own basslines until 1979, after smashing his instrument onstage at the New York Palladium.
Earlier that year, the band had been practicing in Vanilla Studios to work on new material. Paul began playing a simple reggae bass-riff to warm up, and the rest of the band joined in. Finally, he approached Joe with a rumpled piece of paper, saying "it's got lyrics an' all..." Joe eventually convinced him to sing it, and the song remains a Clash classic.
When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun?
And when the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement or waiting in Death Row?
You can crush us, you can bruise us
But you'd have to answer to
Oh
The Guns of Brixton!
Fragments of the plot of the confusing Punk novel are based on this song. I can play the bassline relatively well... Perhaps I'll give up guitar...
Mr.Simonon is currently a painter. He lives in London with his wife and two sons.
(And since you ask, no, I don't have a life.)
Cheers,
Jasper

Letter From the Pits of Snooze-Free Hell

...and I don't mean the one under the stage.
For some reason I am amazingly tired, I think I may be getting sick. This morning my stomach hurt so I went to get my cure-all, a can of something carbonated and caffeinated. The soda machine ate my first two quarters so I wasted an entire dollar on a measly can of soda. Which sounds really petty and awful once I see it in print. But I have a headache and one of those awful self-pity attacks that occur when I'm putting off another brush with flowchart proofs. So I'll probably finish the Orangina and doze off when my feet thaw (around 3AM).
Speaking of which I do have some brighter news. As I have said, Wikipedia is my new best friend, and I've been using it to look up all KINDS of things, including the Paul Simonon (YES I have a bass-player fetish. Get over it!) interview with 3AM magazine. So that's pretty cool. Clash fans and/or Art brats like myself should check it out.
Yeah that's about it.
Off to Wikipedia!
Cheers,
Jasper

Painting Frustration Relieved

Luckily I was able to cure my painting frustration last night by drawing the fire. This was a bit difficult, especially since just as I finished one piece of log, it burned through and fell off. Currently I am in the midst of a series of acrylic fall color paintings although it is rather chilly out. I am also no longer too sleepy, despite the fact that I was up late riding the buzz of Glengarry Glen Ross.
It was fantastic. I originally went to the show because a friend's older brother had a lead role, but after I had figured out the convoluted plot, (it took me the entire first act and I won't even TRY to explain it here), I had become decidedly starstruck. Currently I am determined to join the theater company just so I can soak up the cumulative theatrical awesomeness!
And yes, I am among the few people I know who can get high off of a play.
BACK TO MY PAINTING!!!
Cheers,
Jasper

Sleepy and So Forth

(...would be an implausibly good band name.)
I am sleepy and so forth from staying up painting and/or avoiding doing those really awful flowchart proofs. We've been having some lovely rainy weather, drizzle, fog, and all the associated reasons for moving to the UK, so I'm in a very painter-esque mood. For more information on this subject look up Paul Simonon on Wikipedia or read _Passion is a Fashion_, the book that contains my favorite bass-player quote.
On a completely different subject, I now give a FRIEND REPORT on the doings of all the lunkheads with whom I spend my time. ("whom." I love that word.)
Snowy has been doing well in her own quiet way, we're going to a play tonight.
Xplode a Hippie is as annoying as ever, "WHY do you keep on F***ing attacking me?" It takes her a lot of effort to swear properly
Peaches is as stressed and overworked as ever, but still a lovely person
Beaky continues to investigate CJ's love life
CJ is in another prolonged hissy fit
Scotland hugged me when I gave him a free ticket voucher for the play, which is pretty damn weird if you know him like I do. I've known Beaky since preschool and I don't hug him either
And I, Jasper, twitched my way through the day due to the large amounts of caffeine I inflicted on my fragile liver too early in the morning.
TGIF

Post Without a Title

I have too many subjects this time to title this, hence the oxymoronic phrase.
First off: In all my top tens, HOW COULD I HAVE POSSIBLY FORGOTTEN THE KINKS???? Really my own stupidity amazes me at times.
Updated Top Ten Britrock Bands:
1) Clash
2) Pistols
3) Kinks
4) Stones
5) Beatles
6) Spiders from Mars/Stardust era Bowie
7) Smiths
8) Franz Ferdinand
9) John Cale solo work
10) Floggin Molly
Secondly, I am now deeply in love with Amanda Parker of the Dresden Dolls. I'd marry her if I could. (After all, it is legal in Massachusetts...the band is from Boston. So it works.) Anyway, Mum (not my real mum, but a friend/mother figure of mine who hangs out in the library) burned their CD for me and I spent last night listening to it over and over. Since it is a burned CD I don't know all the track titles, but I liked the first one, "God, it's been a lovely day, everything's been going my way, I've had so much fun today and I'm on fire...", "Girl Anacronism" their local hit, "Coin Operated Boy", and the creepy one to the tango tune. Wow.
Thirdly there is a really good-smelling cake sitting on the counter top and I have to go make the icing (and then do my math and then go to sleep) so I have to go now.
BYE!

You Could Have It So Much Better

The last message you sent said I looked really down
That I oughtta come over and talk about it, well
I wasn't down, I just wasn't smiling at you yeah!

Hurrah for Alex Kapranos. Today is "Random Song Lyrics and Other Music Related Stuff" day so if that sounds boring please sign off now, yes?
Right, so, the absolutely definitive list of Top Ten greatest rock bands:
1) The Clash (really no surprise here to those who know me)
2) The Sex Pistols (includes Sid Vicious solo work)
3) The Velvet Underground
4) The Rolling Stones
5) The Ramones
6) The Beatles
7) Franz Ferdinand
8) The Smiths
9) The Pretenders
10) Blondie
As you can tell I'm in to the old stuff (apart from Franz Ferdinand). Also that all but two of the bands on that list start with the word "The" which is nonexistent in Latin. Just thought I'd point that out.
(Sing, Michael, sing!) On the route of the 19 Bus, we hear them saying
How you get so rude and a reckless?
Don't you be so crude and a feckless
You been drinking brew for breakfast
Rudie can't fail!
Ironic given that Mick Jones hated when his Nan called him "Michael." Joe avoided the issue by referring to him mostly as "Jonesy" and Paul Simonon as "Simmo." This is a source of great amusement to me.
Well we all need someone we can lean on
And if you want it, babe, well you can lean on me.
Yeah we all need someone we can lean on
And if you want to, well you can lean on me.
Really I wonder how Mick Jagger's lips have maintained their amazing size all these years while actresses half his age are already getting collagen. If he marketed his secret he'd be a rich man. Oh wait, he is already.
Top Ten British Bands/Artists
1 Clash
2 Pistols
3 Stones
4 Beatles
5 Smiths
6 Ziggy Stardust era Bowie
7 Franz Ferdinand
8 Pink Floyd
9 Led Zeppelin
10 Flogging Molly
There's no point in asking, you'll get no reply
And just remember, I don't decide
I've got no reason, it's all too much
You'll always find me out to lunch!
Oh we're so pretty, oh so pretty
We're VACANT! (2x)
I really honestly love the Sex Pistols. Deeply so. Also, here are a few extracts from the Franz Ferdinand Fact File ( alliteration is the corniest technique on earth): Their song "Eleanor Put Your Boots On" is about the lead singer of the Fiery Furnaces, while "Love and Destroy" is about the main character of _The Master and Margarita_, my favorite Russian novel. I need that song.
Punk Bass Players In Order of Fanciability:
1) Paul Simonon
2) Sid Vicious (although the term "bass player" may be stretching it a bit, poor Simon)
3) Glen Matlock
4) Captain Sensible
5) Dee Dee Ramone (by no stretch of the imagination is Dee Dee hot, but he is still better than the rest of the band.)
In closing, I ask you all to remember that
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us but he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it cos he knows it's all worthwhile
He told me "Let the children use it,
Let the children loose it
Let all the children boogie."

Random Scrapings from the Icing Bowl of Life

Oh the joys of the internet. I've been around looking at other people's blogs, good stuff. "Meeting" people who are probably not psychos is one of the fantastic things about the web. A fairly cool blog I've been reading off and on is "Happiness is a Warm Gun," good for music lovers or the people who read teenaged angst novels. It's great!
And now I must go reorg my brother's CDs
Adieu!

The Great Jasper List of Political Things That Made Me Go "Eh?":

1) Lyndon LaRouche runs for office nearly every election. He is classified as an Independent candidate and his archenemy is the Queen of England. Supposedly she is responsible for the world cocaine market, and at the beginning of the Falklands war, the UK should have been nuked off the planet. I'm surprised he didn't use "God Save the Queen" as his campaign song.
2) Explode-a-Ferret, Fanciable Austrian Bloke et al were having a discussion of Political Moments That Make Us Go "Eh?" so naturally Explode-a-Ferret brings up Italy. He starts talking about how Mussolini's fascist/porn star granddaughter holds an important position in the Italian government. Fanciable Austrian Bloke said "well, she's not that bad!" Explode-a-Ferret stared at him in horror for a moment or two before saying "I don't even WANT to know!" It would have been funny if it stopped there, but supposedly FAB meant politically.
3) Our state capital, Denver, is the national headquarters for the Prohibition Party, promising a dry nation if elected. Their meetings generally draw about twenty people, all conservative Christians and many of them related.
4) Explode-a-Ferret says that in the UK you can run for parliament for 500 quid which leads to some rather peculiar political situations. Like Screaming Lord Sutch, for instance. Apparently his campaign is based on stilts and scary hats, and when they read his name on the TV he makes menacing faces. I've heard about him on the News Quiz but I haven't googled him yet. Info about him would be greatly appreciated.
5) In Austria, the Social Democrats are the punk party. They use Vienna slang and they don't come off as terribly well educated.
6) Back to the "Run for Parliament: Cheap!" issue: a reporter wounded in Sarajevo won an election because he was running against, among others, the candidate from the Aztec Transvestite Party. I don't even want to know.
If any of you have a List of Political Moments That Made You Go "Eh?" please send 'em in.
In the same vein, there was a note in New Scientist about French road signs. (It was on their list of road signs that made them go eh, I stole the idea and went a bit nuts). On a ring road, one sign read "Toutes Directions" whereas the other read "Autres Directions." The correspondent, worried that choosing an "other" direction instead of an "all" direction would land him in a weird French alternate reality, went towards "Toutes Directions."

Doll Face

Since we have at long last decided that we are too old for trick-or-treating, amicae mea and I have decided to put on a show for the innocent kiddies that come knocking and asking for packaged sugar high. This involves a "living doll" seated on my porch wrapped in Snowy's cloak and wearing a mask of my design. I am going to have fun making this as elegant and creepy as I possibly can.
Recently I have found a certain charm in the creepier aspects of china dolls. The New York Dolls managed to look gorgeous and threatening at the same time, delightfully campy but tough under all the makeup. A local band, the Dresden Dolls, as picked up the tradition and their poster is gorgeous: a doll-faced guy holding a switchblade between his teeth. I wish I could steal one for my room.
Also there is the well-established Courtney Love tradition of babydoll/kinderwhore dresses but I don't think I'll be buying into that anytime soon. Poor Frances, born to the founders of grunge when all she wants to do is be preppy.
So I'm planning to have fun with that, eh? And be prepared for a scare...but a very elegant one.
I'm not a magician.
I am wearing a bright red jacket.
Cheers, Jasper

____ is like ___. You're only ____ing yourself!

Three cheers for Hitchcock, that's his quote. You can fill in the blanks. Because I ought to be cleaning my room or studying at the moment, but instead I'm further stressing myself out by blogging instead. Oh well, I have the last track from You Could Have It So Much Better stuck in my head. (Incidentally by Hitchcock I don't mean the horror film bloke, but a friend of mine who impersonated him in Eighth grade. The name stuck)
Plus I found a copy of _Trainspotting_ on my brother's bookshelf. It is calling me....
Yeah I actually didn't have a point this time so I'm not rambling in an unnecessary manner, three cheers for Jasper dear.
Okay I'm done.

TAKE ME OUT

Well, people, the moment we have all been waiting for has arrived, and the new Franz Ferdinand album is in stores. Unfortunately I was beyond skint when I recieved the good news and was forced to sob and beat my pillow (well, not really) but luckily Herself pays for garden chores so I earned it washing windows. I haven't listened to it yet but it's sitting by my elbow while I type, the Pop Art cover teasing me. The girl in the photo is stunningly gorgeous, even in that awful hat. I love album covers, they make me want to draw.
Speaking of which I'm working on another Groovy Pencil Drawing in art class, this time of a shoe, a Clash photo, and (eventually) the Coca Cola label held together with safety pins. Safety pins are truly a wonder of fastening technology. Simply put they rock.
Other than that I don't really have much else to write, except I finally watched the movie version of High Fidelity last night. The book was better but the movie was pretty awesome as well.
I went to the Franz Ferdinand website (hey, it's understandable, they're my favorite living rock band along with the Hot IQs) and read some of Alex Kapranos' blog. "No, I'm not a magician, but I'm wearing a red jacket." Not a direct quote, for his own words see www.franzferdinand.co.uk, it's a fantastic and very arty website. From reading the lyrics the new album sounds darker but I'm looking forward to it anyway.
I've lost count of days to my birthday but it's 3 November 2005 and if you forget my locker again I will ram my fist down your throats, you irresponsible wanks. Only joking. Ha ha.
So I'm off to clean my room and listen to You Could Have It So Much Better.
That's all the news from Art-Brat-Introspection-Land.
Wishing you peace, happiness, and deep fried Mars Bars,
Jasper

Pop Art

I often jog down to the local library to feed my ever-growing hunger for entertaining reading material. On my latest trip I checked out a wonderful volume entitled _I'll Be Your Mirror: Interviews with Andy Warhol_ or words to that effect. "I'll Be Your Mirror" is a Velvet Underground song. It is very entertaining.
"...and we said Let us interview you as a spokesman for Pop art, and he said No, let me interview you. We said No, let us interview you. And he said Fine, if I can answer with Yes or No.
"Question: What is Pop art?
Answer: Yes.
Question: Good way to do an interview, isn't it?
Answer: Yes."
(Not quite exact quotes, I don't have the book handy and I don't feel like getting up to fetch it.)
Later on in the interview we find that, for Andy, Coca Cola (NOTE THE C's) symbolizes "pop."
It is fantastique.
Your non-French-speaking friend,
Jasper

Branston Pickle

Just had a cheese-and-pickle sandwich for lunch, good stuff, that. Peaches dear has managed to comment on my blog, but then again so has Xplode-a-Hippie. If she is ever found murdered in an alley I will give myself up to the cops even if I didn't do it. And I have "Stop the World" stuck in my head again: The banknotes of Europe, the emperors and kings/ Curling in the autumn with the burning of the leaves/ I cleaned my black guitar...