Further Xmas Day and A Public Service Announcement

(with guitar)

Went to Peaches's for dinner and consumed much turkey, afterwards played charades with their Brit neighbors-to-be. Fantastic fun. Slept in day after and ate turkey leftovers. Still eating turkey leftovers. Will be eating turkey leftovers until we throw its mangled carcass into the putrid depths of our trashcan, where it will rot and stink and add to the general stench of death that hovers over my corroded soul... As you can tell I'm rather sick of turkey leftovers.
Later went skating with Peaches, meaning that she dragged me around the rink until I gained some semblance of control over myself. Then we went home to watch Chocolat with Bert and experiment with green eyeliner.
Today went sketching at the art museum and found that Sandinista! makes excellent car rock, especially the dub bits. Drew sculptures and a chaise longue. Stopped in Anthropologie only to find that it wasn't my kind of place at all.
Came home and did blog stuff, checked out Strummersite (which I can reccomend for fans of The Man) and so forth. Ate a buttery oregon herb roll. Thought about falling asleep and decided against it.
And now...
I never thought I'd be the multiple blog type, but I now am. Check out Telephone Belle (reachable by clicking on my profile) for music reviews, art notes, style musings etc. Enjoy! (It's early days yet, I've only got two posts, neither interesting.

Xmas Day part 1

Woke up and opened presents. Sunny out without a speck of snow, t-shirt weather, but really, what do I expect? Got to spend some actually family time, plus bro, until he went out to eat xmas lunch with his girlfriend. I was kinda hoping he'd hang around a bit but oh well what the hell. He'd be bored and whiny so we're better off without him. Anyways, we're going off to chez Peaches for dinner and having him along would be as awkward as my dancing. But Jesus, does he ever think about the younger siblings? Kari wants her sister back and I want the brother I never really had. Piss and vinegar.
On a happier note, I got Sandinista! finally, complete with lyrics sheet and excellent songs. Picks include "Crooked Beat," "One More Time," "Let's Go Crazy," "Lightning Strikes" etc. I'm not even into disc two yet. A lot of used books, frames for my photos/paintings/whatever, maaaaaan, a few spare canvasses, buttons, ART BOOKS!!!, Heart of Darkness and a Taschen photo book from Bro, Best of Lou Reed also from bro, bracelets, antique rhinestone pins, and a hilarious box o' randomness from Dad.
As an add-on to my xmas list (guitar and piercing) I wrote down a lot of random crap not meant to be taken seriously. Tattoos cars, (later slurred to "tattoo scars") diamonds, scratched Clash singles circa 1977, Paul Simonon originals, and a villa in the south of France. My dad went online and printed out photos of all these things, which I will stick on my wall when I find the time.
Anyway, 'tis the season to be capitalist, whether you're Christian like her, Jewish like him, or pagan like me, so go out and SPEND SPEND SPEND!!!!
Cheers, yah,
J

Xmas Shopping and Further Proof that Theater People are Crazy

Second subject first. Yesterday, I co-wrote, co-directed, and co-starred in a one act play. "Caution" by Noituac and Company (ie me, Jazz, Wammikins, Possum Baby, and It Was Great Fun.)
Our prop: Caution tape
Our secret: All the characters end up related
Our challenges: To create rain onstage, to incorporate a blackout, to have one character wear a poncho, and to include a compulsive knitter.
Our first and last lines: "Do you have the time?" "Well, the pineapple is tha national symbol of hospitality!"
Our "plot" (sort of): The characters meet at a road blocked by caution tape. They spend the duration of the play wondering about the tape and telling their life stories while being bugged by a homeless guy who ends up being their second cousin Sidney. As they walk off, he produces a pineapple.
Our cast:
Homeless guy/Second cousin Sidney- Wammikins, playing a more annoying version of himself.
Taxidermist- It Was Great Fun, in excellent creepy form.
CEO of Ice Trays International- Jazz, knitting away
Lead Guitarist for Ghengis and the Khans- Me, in trench coat and plaid hat
Employee of International House of Possum- Possum baby, hamming it up with a pitchfork.
It was excellent. We pulled it off in slightly less than twenty four hours with very little caffeine. I wish I'd taped it.

Xmas Shopping
Went out yesterday with Ma and Bro, hunting for presents. It has turned sunny, which is rather odd, so it was warm enough to wear a t-shirt. We stopped in all the usual places- World's Largest Hardware Store and the adjacent coffee shop, maaaaaaaagical new antique store, Borders', The Body Shop, Urban Outfitters, and Paper Doll. I found presents for everybody except Peaches, because what the hell do you get for the chick who has it all??? She's coming over tonight. PANIC ATTACK!
Cheers,
J

The banknotes of Europe

The emperors and kings
Curling in the autumn with the burning of the leaves
And I've cleaned my black guitar...
- "Stop the World", '80s era Clash.

Went guitar shopping. Our local guitar/keyboard/whatever, maaaan, emporium usually has something funny written up on the marquee out front: "You're feeling sleeeepy...veeeerry sleeeepy....come in and buy a guitar...." "The 88 keys to happiness are here!" or, most recently, "curl up with a warm guitar this winter." I went in feeling very timid.
I wouldn't mind living there, I decided. The walls are covered with guitars, the carpet is covered with dog hair and it is full of local cyberhippies and Zeppelin kids. I tiptoed through the rows and rows of gleaming instruments to see a guy in the back playing the blues and a kid holding an Aerosmith songbook. I was greeted by a guy with frizzy hair and an amiable "whatever, maaaan," personality. He showed me some OK student guitars: a black Art&Lutherie Canadian number for $270ish and a Fender all laminate job for $99. Tempted as I was by the name brand and low price, the Fender sounded terrible and I will personally crucify its inventor as soon as I get the chance. Anyway, I tried out the black one and promptly forgot all the chords I ever knew except Dmaj. At least I didn't try to play "Stairway to Heaven." I bought the guitar.
As we were checking out, I overheard a Joni Mitchell impersonator talking about her new keyboard. "I'm getting a keyboard instead of a Christmas tree this year," she said, "I don't want to kill a tree, you know, ethical reasons..." We paid up and left.
So now I am enjoying the simple joys of having a guitar and the lovely bruised feeling the fingers get after a few hours of Amaj Dmaj Emaj...
Whatever, maaaan.
J

Home for the Holidays

Cheap holidays in other people's misery...
-Johnny Rotten, "Holidays in the Sun," 1977
The Bro is among us, and of course with Bro comes His Girlfriend who is one of the nicest people I know. Me, Ma, Dad, Bro and HGF all congregated to deck the tree with sparkly objects and eat Ma's soup. It was fun, for the most part, listening to old European carol albums (including several of Ma's favorite LPs) and pondering the whys and wherefores of baked apples.
Naturally I won't see Bro much at all. Seeing the two of them makes me feel lonely, having "never had no one ever..." It's going to be a rather lonely holiday. I think I might move in with Peaches.
Luckily I wasn't given much time to mope because I was whisked away into Ma's room to watch part of _Amelie_ which is one of the best films I've ever seen. Annoying Unlovely Git was right about something for once! Can't wait to finish it.
It's snowing right now and I am shivering so much I can hardly type...not that I can type well under normal circumstances...
Other Random Notes:
Been watching a series of Art videos (Van Gogh, Rembrandt, Titian, Velasquez, Vermeer, etc) presented by a guy with spiky hair and a fondness for the phrase "frozen moment." Quite good otherwise.
15 Dec was Paul Simonon's fiftieth birthday. Contemplating that guarantees hours of unrestrained amusement.
And...
I'M GOING GUITAR SHOPPING TODAY!

Do the Cossack Dance in America!

I mean, you might as well. -Joe Strummer.

We took Snowy out dancing and it was very, very fun.
The day began with me dashing out to buy shoes. I ended up with gold flats. I then went to the library and loaded up on fashion books, including one written by Twiggy in 1968 when she was about seventeen. Anyone want to buy me some eyeliner for Xmas?
I then met up with Bert and we went off to get our nails done in a very swank spa full of impossibly glam people. A little intimidating but fun nonetheless, mine are now filmstar red!
Went back to Bert's house where I disappeared into her pile of girlie fashion mags until Billy Joe Jr. (aka GreenDay, on Snowy's blog) arrived and we ate pizza. Snowy herself came as well. I had a Coke and got very overcaffeinated.
Peaches showed up and we all crammed ourselves into Bert's tiny bathroom acting like grooming chimpanzees: doing each other's hair and makeup or shaving our own legs etc. Long conversations about the color of underwear (black underwear=you want to get laid. Deal with it) and about putting mascara on Billy Joe Jr, or about Snowy's quiz madness etc.
Dresses dresses dresses:
Bert wore dark turquoise velvet, strapless, very modern and elegant
Snowy made her own gold satin skirt
Billy Joe Jr wore black with awesome lace stockings
Peaches got a brown 'fifties-ish number with big skirt
J wore a gold sparkly lace skirt with a turquoise top and Twiggy-ish eyeliner.
We went and danced, even me (my dancing skills are comparable to those of Dee Dee Ramone's tonsils). Sadly the music was all rap so I had to go over and terrorize the DJs, but they never did play my songs. The non-rap notables were: "Numa Numa" (Maiia hee...etc, not "maria..."), "Beverly Hills," "La La," (the one with Ashlee Simpson looking like an emo kid in the video...seriously, there is a GUY I've seen around with her haircut and clothes) "Since U Been Gone," "Hollaback Girl" (YEAH Gwen!) and that one song where every third word is "Girls!!!"
Peaches agonized a lot about asking HIM to dance (not the band...) and I got pissed of at DJs and rap. Funnily enough even Snowy's bro came, under coercion, wearing a suit and an expression of disbelief.
I tried to do the cossack dance but I'm not flexible enough...repeating the quote is a surefire way of bothering Billy Joe Jr.
I dunno, throw a rock at it?
J

Been a long time...

...since I rock and roll, ooh.

Sorry, brief Led Zeppelin moment there, no worries, it's a passing thing.
Quick update on my doings:
Further escapades in the realm of culinary hair dye straightened my hair but didn't color it. I then tried to darken my roots with mascara which worked OK but left a nasty, greasy residue. Oh well.
We got our Unidentified Winter Holiday tree which remains undecorated until Bro returns.
Going to study for a science exam with the fantastic Mini Wheat, who interrogated me on the lineage of my orange...
I created a rather controversial comic today, featuring Annoying Unlovely Git and Bearded Winkler, complete with stripper scarves, dancing. Another one o' them long stories.
Beaky is making a film which finally has a plot but no screenplay. Should be a laugh.
Got a book on Twiggy (published 1968 and only missing a few pages) from the local library. It's fantastic and now I need new eyeliner.
Take a moment for John Lennon...
And we dragged Snowy out dancing. Much fun. More on that one later.
Cheers,
J

When the Sex Pistols roomed together...

Okay, so I went over to Brainsponge's house and returned a changed woman. Creepy how friends can do that to you.
We had originally arranged the get-together to work on our novel, a bizarre Victorian-ish fantasy job that is currently taking over our lives. However, my disorganization intervened and I forgot to bring the bit of it I was working on. (Although I did remember my toenail clippers, in case I needed a haircut...)
We ended up watching Gilmore Girls instead.
I have grown up without a TV. I was perfectly happy being TV-less. I never cared about Friends or Law and Order or Family Guy or any of those other shows. Even when we had a TV in London, all I watched was David Attenborough's bird show. I devoted my spare brain space to remembering useless facts about bands. And then they introduced me to pop culture.
Peaches, Brainsponge, Brainsponge's Little Sister, and Sparkly are so in to Gilmore Girls that they can recite episodes word for word. Many of our conversations involved me sitting there in mild amusement while they rattled off entire exchanges: Brainsponge: "so then Luke says..." Me: "uh huh." They decided to convert me. Armed with potato chips, pizza, and more Coke-the-beverage than I should ever consume in one evening, we trooped into the TV room to rot our brains and discuss Peaches's favorite actor, Milo Ventimiglia. What a name. *Laughs hysterically.*
So anyway, the show is quite good. It's funny without being cliched or dumb and it has enough music references to keep me happy. My favorite of these runs thusly:
Nerdy guy #1: "What's this?"
Nerdy guy #2: "A nightlight."
Nerdy guy #1: "Dude, we are not having a nightlight. When the Sex Pistols roomed together, they did not have a nightlight."
Nerdy guy #2: "How do you know?"
Nerdy guy #1: "Because I read Johnny Rotten's book, and nowhere did he mention a nightlight!"
Oh god. It's finally happened. I have turned in to Brainsponge.
Other notes:
Passion is a Fashion got a good Times review.
Peaches is scarred for life because of a pic of Joe Strummer in swimwear.
I am going to see if I can get Rotten's book at the library now.
Snowy has gone quiz-mad.
BYE