How to Learn Rock'n'Roll out of Books

Step one: go to your local library and head to the 781 section. This is where they keep the good stuff.
Step two: select a biography of the band of you choice. Some good ones to check out: Passion is a Fashion, (Clash), England's Dreaming, (Sex Pistols), What's Welsh for Zen, (John Cale.) Read this book cover to cover. If you aren't sure which band you like best, choose an anthology like Cinderella's Big Score or PUNK.
Step three: read all the authors cited as influences by the band. Examples include J.G. Ballard, Graham Greene, and George Orwell. If a particular book is mentioned, read that as well.
Step four: find more biographies or photo books and read THEM cover to cover. Repeat step three. The Clash by Bob Gruen, and Picture This by Mick Rock are excellent photobooks.
Step five: rent or buy a guitar
Step six: go back to the 781s and find either The Complete and Utter Ignoramus's Guide to Making Not Too Horrible Noise On Six Strings (or a similar title) or a chord dictionary.
Step seven: learn three chords: Amaj, Dmaj, and Emaj. You can now play "Louie, Louie" if you get them in the right order, or the verse bit (and most of the chorus) to "Blitzkreig Bop."
Step eight: start writing your own awful lyrics and keep them in a notebook because they're too embarassing to see the light of day
Step nine: go to a used clothes store and buy either an awesome Ray Davies velvet jacket or an awesome Debbie Harry blue dress.
Step ten: now that you have learned RockNRoll out of books, torture your friends by reciting band-related dates or band members' middle names. (Mick Jones's is Geoffrey.) This is also a good conversation starter.
Cheers,
Jasper