Brighton Rock

(Hey, I recently found that I actually could change my font color so we're going with red.)
Right, this is one of those times that the title has little or nothing to do with the rant du jour. (And in case you were wondering, I don't speak French well either.) The real topic for the day is politics. And _Brighton Rock_ as well because it is an awesome book, but this is its only mention. Maybe.
Ok enough dithering. I present: THE CARTOON REASON FOR THE WAR IN IRAQ! (Please note: this is an informal, comedic, and way oversimplified version of the story and not valid material for any college thesis.)
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq
If the economy hurts your mama, bomb Iraq
If we're breaking all the rules and the public thinks we're fools
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq!
Really it all started as a non sequitir in Bush's brain. Of course, the public demanded a reason WHY we ougt to bomb them.
Public: "Hey, dude, like, I know this is a big deal for you, but, uh, why do we have to bomb them?"
Bush: "Uhhh..." (pulls out security report and reads first word) "Nukes. Yeah. They have nukes. (Well, so do we, but...)"
Public: "Whatever, dude."
The British public is less easily impressed, but Tony is not about to let his old buddy down.
Tony: "Oh, come off it, lads, they really do have nukes. I heard it on the BBC! It must be true! Call in the National Front!"
British public: "Wotever y'say, guv'nor. Put the tea on, luv!"
So we invade Iraq. And then Tony hears that they don't really have nukes.
Tony: "That's bollocks!"
And so he needs to divert attention from his errors. He thinks and thinks, until he finally proposes...
Tony: "TWENTY-FOUR HOUR DRINKING, LADS!"
And the British public bursts into a drunken rendition of "F'r 'E's a Jolly Good Fellooow..."
Leaving Bush in Iraq all by himself.
Sadly, since the tragic death of Joe Strummer and Johnny Rotten's decision to live in his own little safety-pin-and-amphetamine world, the only people left to defend the youth of today are Green Day!!!
O my brothers and sisters, all you malchicks and devotchkas upset with the world, all my dearest malenky horrorshow droogs, WE ARE DOOMED!!!!
...and all that cal.
Cheers,
Jasper.
PS Brighton Rock sincerely is a good book. Read it whenever you can. Ditto _A Clockwork Orange_, hence the nadsat-speak at the end.